Love stirs up love

It never ceases to amaze me. The Lord is constantly showing His lovingkindness. He is constantly, gently reaching for me and teaching me the truth about who He is. Time and time again, I forget this great LOVE. Does He get tired of showing me? Proving Himself? Reminding me? No, like a loving Father He continues to scoop me up and hold me to his side despite my unbelief.

This week has been a stressful week for me. Self inflicted stress. Is there really any other kind? Ezra's medicine is extremely expensive. Our budget covers it just fine (if you don't account for all of the hundreds of dollars in "unexpected" surprises that seem to drain the account each month, of course! LOL!) But generally speaking, it works out just fine. So long as there are 30 days in a month. You see, usually when you fill a script it's a 30 day supply. However, this time of year...you have those glorious 31 day months. Which, if you do the math- means in one month, you have to DOUBLE the prescriptions. So here I am thinking about the month of December. How on EARTH are we going to shell out over $300 in medication PLUS Christmas?

Que stress headache.

Yesterday I called in his most expensive medication. Generic costs about $78. I get a return phone call.

"Ma'am, the manufacturer no longer makes this medication. We have five pills left."

PANIC!!!!!!!

"Okay, how much will the Prevacid be, non-generic?"

"Hundreds of Dollars."

My heart drops. What on EARTH are we going to do now? 31 days....hundreds of dollars....times two....

"So do you want the five pills?"

"Um...I don't know...I'm not sure what to do..."

Que God's sweet grace

"Well, we DO have the generic in liquid form."

"Um, can he take that? Does it cost less than the Prevacid, non generic?"

"Yes, he should be able to. Just have your doctor calls us and verify the script change. Yes it is quite a bit less."

My heart slows down. I realize the phone is a bit slippery from my hand sweating like crazy. Is it hot in here??

Later that evening, Dallas gets home with the new medication. I check the receipt. $37.04. Wait...what?! Is this just a two week supply then? We do the math. No. This is a 36 day supply. Not only did they give us enough for the 31 days, but it continued on for 36. At half the cost.

Last night I was so bewildered. This morning I'm in awe. God is so gracious to me. In the midst of my not trusting, trying to figure it out myself to the extent of making myself sick, here comes His gentle hand. Not a harsh lesson. Not a stern finger shaking in my face. A gracious hug and a loving brushing away of the tears and the fear. This is who He is.

There's a good chance I'll soon forget again. No wonder he likens us to sheep. He will never get tired of showing me His love. He will never grow tired of teaching me to trust Him. He will never stop being my loving Father. Love stirs up love.